Hi lone parent, how’s it going?
Has today been a good day? I hope it has been. I hope you’re feeling happy. I hope your life is filled with great things right now. In fact, I’m willing to bet that it is – even if you don’t believe me yet.
It’s ok if you don’t believe me yet. We’ve all been there, with that chatterbox in our brain pointing out all the crap we’ve got to deal with. The jobs we haven’t done, the relationships we’ve seen go sour. The problems we’re having with our kids, our jobs, our ex… it can be overwhelming.
If you’ve found yourself hiding in your bedroom crying lately, or yelling at your child over something ridiculous, or bitching to your friends about how unfair and frustrating your life is… I get it. I’ve been there too. I have stared at my glass and known damn well it was half-empty thank-you-very-much. And by glass, I mean my life, or my bed, or my home. Or my whatever.
Some days life just pisses you off. Some days it makes you feel sad. Some days you look around you and nothing feels like it’s enough. You don’t feel like enough.
But what if those days didn’t happen any more? What if your brain didn’t keep rolling out that miserable screenplay of all the bad stuff? How would that feel?
The thing is, that chatterbox in your brain? It’s you, but it’s not you. I know, it’s a weird concept. But stay with me. The words you hear in your head are not YOU. You’re listening to them right? So they can’t be you. They are just old habits knocking about in there making a whole lot of noise.
The real you, the bit that is listening to all that junk, is way more powerful than you know. The real you has the power to turn it all off. Pick a different movie, play a different song, feel a different feeling about where you’re at right now.
I’m going to help you out.
Try this on for size: You are enough.
That’s right, you. You who has four loads of laundry languishing in the basket. You, who yelled at your kid this morning for not getting out of the house on time. You, who didn’t make it to your dentist appointment (again). You, who hasn’t managed to meet up with your friends in a couple of months. You, who failed your driving test last week… all of you. You are enough.
You are enough.
It’s time to communicate with your brain, and sort that chatterbox out. When is the last time you heard anyone tell you that you are enough? When did you last believe it? When did you let your kids know, or your family know, or your new partner know – or anyone in fact – know they were enough?
It’s ok, you’ve got this. Take a minute and repeat after me:
I am choosing this life
I love my life
My life is good
I feel good
I am a good parent
I am worthy
I am happy
I am healthy
I am strong
I am loved enough
Our home is enough
My children are enough
We have enough
We are grateful for all that we have
My partner (or future partner) is enough
I’ve got this!
That chatterbox in your brain? It’s running an old program on loop. And you, the listener, are tuning into an old station. It’s time to retune that program. Your brain doesn’t care what program it’s playing – you, the listener, you get to pick that all by yourself!
So go ahead, give some clear, precise direction for your brain right now. Get comfortable giving your brain instructions for how to process information about your life. It’s possible to flip that switch and just decide that you believe you are enough. All you have to do is repeat it often enough, and give yourself permission to start listening.